....it shows how much you love your children that you are still here. Most fathers would have given up by now."
"Given up!" I thought to myself, "really?"
"Given up, isn't quite how I'd describe it."
"Beaten into submission - maybe? Run out of money - possibly? Tired, exhausted and emotionally empty - almost certainly!"
People argue that there is a bias in the family courts - that they favour mothers. I'm not sure that is true. They do, however, favour the, "resident" parent. In most cases that is the mother and, therefore, the balance of power seems to be held by mums.
Unfortunately, it doesn't take long before both parties recognise this fact. And when you find yourself up against an ex whose anger for you is stronger than her love for her children the very court system you expect to help you can become the tool used to deny you access. Unless, you can manage to keep going, to keep finding the money and to keep plodding on whilst they hold directions hearings in a vain attempt that either one of the parents will give up or someone, anyone (other than them), will make a decision.
This has been a difficult post to write, for the very reason I haven't known what to write. As you can probably tell by my rambling?
Anyway, I am hanging in there. I hope the tide is turning. My application for an enforcement of contact (which was issued almost 12 months ago) and which was due to be heard in February, but which was delayed due to the lies of my ex-wife in January, is now an application for residency.
I feel uneasy seeking to upheave the children from their mothers but, as a very clever person said to me,
"You are the better parent because you love them unconditionally,
Whereas your ex loves them conditionally."
Plus, of course, I would never seek to exclude their mother from their lives.