Am I doing this right?

Just lately I've been finding myself asking the question, "am I doing this right?"

I don't wish to sound a neurotic Woody Allen type but, I guess, on some levels, that is exactly what I am and that is causing me to question whether I am actually any good at this life thing.

I have begun to wonder if I am to life, what my mate is to common sense. My mate is the cleverest person I know but, when it comes to common sense, he makes a camel looked gifted. At a time when I am trying to make life simple, I seem to be making it more and more complicated without having the first idea how I'm managing to make such a tangled mess.

As my regular readers will know I decided to take a break from the dating scene, at least whilst I sorted my head out, and concentrate on developing friendships. In that respect things have been going great - or at least that was what I thought until Saturday night when my friend declared that she, "loved me."

By my reckoning, in the past 12 months, three women have told me they love me, one woman hasn't (obviously, more than one hasn't - but, hopefully, you know what I mean?) and one has displayed hatred towards me (yes, my relationship with the ex-wife is still strained!).

Is it just me that makes this sort of complicated mess?

A reversal of fortune!

Towards the end of my marriage, and with just a little encouragement from my ex-wife, I decided to have a vasectomy. At the beginning I wasn't entirely comfortable with the decision but my ex-wife was positive that we wouldn't be having anymore children so it seemed the right move.

However, over these last few weeks I've been feeling decidedly broody. I don't know if it's because of the beautiful new born pictures that VBC has been posting, because it feels like a time for new beginnings or, perhaps, I just love being a dad but I do know I could get quite excited about the prospect of a little baby in my life.

Today, I even looked at the prices of reversal procedures.

Strange times!

Am I alone in getting these feelings? (I don't think I've ever had them before even when I was about to become a dad).

Catch-22

I love Catch 22 - everything about it - it is possibly the finest piece of literature I've ever had the pleasure to read. At any one time there is always a quote from it circling around in my overloaded brain. However, just lately this one has been surfacing the most:

"Yossarian: He was very old.
Luciana: But he was a boy.
Yossarian: Well, he died. You don't get any older than that."

I like to think that my friend had a good life, a full life and an enjoyable life but, I keep coming back to the fact that he didn't have a long life and I didn't get the opportunity to have one last drink with him. It's only when I lose someone that I realise how much they mean to me.

RIP my friend.

PS. Learn a lesson from my friend and don't forget to take out that a travel insurance policy. It is costing his family a fortune getting him cremated in Thailand.

It's two o'clock, it's Saturday and it's time to....

get drunk!

Care to join me?

Appropriate blogging subjects?

Just lately I've been wondering what are appropriate blogging subjects. Is it appropriate, for example, to blog about the following:

a) The end of relationship and the upset that causes?
b) The start of a new relationship and the excitement and apprehension that causes?
c) The sudden, and untimely death, of a close friend and the sorrow that causes?
d) The ever changing relationship with an ex who also happens to be a parent to your children?
e) The enduring love for a child?
f) Emails that you've received criticising your previous blog subjects?

or should blogging be kept to "safe" subjects, for example:

1) Product reviews,
2) Charming stories about cheeky statements made by your children,
3) Veiled digs at other bloggers,

I'm not entirely sure. What do you think?

Also, I read a lovely little quote from John F.Kennedy which goes as follows:

"The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity."

The day I realised I'm the better parent!

I'm not a competitive parent but, being divorced does, sometimes, make you feel like you've been thrown into a competitive arena in which your parenting skills are pitted against those of your ex. Normally, when this happens, I just throw the towel in and concede defeat,

"Oh, I see, you don't need to go and see Father Christmas at the Co-op this year as Mummy is taking you to the North Pole!"

"Yes, I do like that miniature Mickey Mouse you brought me Daddy but, the life size talking and dancing one Mummy brought me is so much better!"

"Why don't you want me to take you ice skating anymore? Oh, mummy has booked personal lessons with Torvill & Dean!"

"Yes, I know mummy is a much better driver then daddy - it goes without saying dear!"

However, today I had my moment of glory. I sat my little kids down and asked,"

"Who fancies a game of top trumps?"

They looked at me puzzled and said,

"Top trumps daddy? What is that?"

"What, mummy has never taught you top trumps?"

"No, daddy!"

Well, imagine the enjoyment I derived showing my offspring the pleasures of top trumps.

In fact it was so much fun that I am thinking of developing a new line of top trumps entitled,

"Parent trumps!"

Looking at life in a different way!

Just lately I've found myself feeling happy. This shouldn't be a huge surprise as I've been lucky enough to spend most of my life in a state of happiness. However, this last year has felt hard. But, I've realised that is because my perception has been wrong.

Of course:

A) This time last year I had a job that I loved whereas I now have a job that I complete. But, at least, I am lucky enough to have a job - and a well paid one at that!

B) The year has been tough in terms of relationships. But, whilst things may not have turned out how I have wished, I have some wonderful memories of times that I spent with a lovely lady.

C) I have on going issues with the ex-wife that are impacting upon my ability to be the father that I want to be. But, at least I am always striving to be that father. I may not be perfect but I am me - and I would do absolutely anything for my little ones.

Today, I walked around Birmingham, a City I have known all my life, and saw beauty where I once would have seen decay.

Life is beautiful!

A sign of global warming?

When I was in my youth (yes, only a few years ago) I used to listen to a small band. Some of you may have heard of them - they go by the name of U2. They were my favourite band for many a long year. I used to love their song October which had the lyrics:

"October and the trees are stripped bare of they all wear..."

The full track can be heard here:



When I was walking in the park today (November 1st) I couldn't help but notice that the trees, whilst they are in the process of losing their leaves, were far from stripped bare. Could this be another sign of global warming? Or, is this just the best Autumn ever?

I, for one, have certainly enjoyed the beautiful and vibrant colours.