When I was going through my divorce I used to tell myself that you couldn't appreciate the highs without experiencing the lows. This was important to me as I had a lot of low points, in the year following the split, with only the occasional high. However, I now feel that the balance is being redressed. I feel like I'm surfing the crest of a high. The reasons for this are fairly simple:
a) Being a non resident parent is crap in many ways, especially when you have an ex that seems to think residency brings a higher status. However, it does mean that, when I have the kids, I get to spend real quality time with them. I'm not worried about work, DIY or any of the other things that used to fill my days when I was married. When I have the kids I'm just a daddy who loves them, plays with them, cooks with them, reads with them and, generally, just has fun with them doing things that they enjoy and are beneficial to them. I love my kids but I'm not sure that I used to show that enough when I was married - I do now!
b) I've started to reconnect with the friends that I pushed away following the divorce. Pushing them away was never deliberate, rather it was a sub-concious survival technique. My friends had become our friends and I couldn't face the prospect of them questioning me, judging me or pitying me and, therefore, I shut myself away. I now know that none of my friends would have done any of those things, and that I could have really used their support, but they were dark days and I wasn't thinking straight.
c) There is a lot of positivity that has come with my new relationship. As well as a partner, that supports and comforts me, I have a new circle of friends. I am getting out more, experiencing new things and having fun.
d) I find massive comfort, both in this blog, and the blogs of other people. Reading the words of others that are treading the same path as me is amazingly comforting, getting a different perspective from another person is wonderful and just meeting new people and making new friends is great.
All in all this current high is making the lows I experienced feel worthwhile.
To top it all off the lovely lady and I had, what I would call, the perfect date yesterday. We went to see a film (Inception which was brilliant so thanks for the recommendation Kevin), then had dinner and afterwards dancing (metaphorically speaking!). I loved every minute of it!