Duck Shooting

They say that the wheels of justice roll slowly and............they're right!!

Even when I've being trying to push things along I've been told to hold on, take stock, get my ducks in a row and, one by one, shoot them down.

I'm now in the position to do just that. I now have a case to present, an argued case, a reasoned case and a good case. A case of a father, his family and friends who have been muscled out of his children's lives by a vindictive ex-wife and her new wife.

Now all that is left is for my barrister to present that case. To take the battle forward, to roll the dice and hope that the lies that have been told are seen for what they are (if my Barrister is correct they will be).

The day of reckoning is almost upon me - that day being the 28th May 2013.

Wish me luck!!


(PS I'd just like to apologise for the messages/emails I haven't replied to (things have been hectic) and to thank those that have helped me get this far).

40

I will sing, sing a new song,
Sing this with me,
this is 40!

http://youtu.be/AjtpplE39_g

As I turn a new birthday (and a big one at that) it feels like this is going to be a good year.

Love to you all,

Spencer

And so my solicitor turned to me and said.....

....it shows how much you love your children that you are still here. Most fathers would have given up by now."

"Given up!" I thought to myself, "really?"

"Given up, isn't quite how I'd describe it."

"Beaten into submission - maybe? Run out of money - possibly? Tired, exhausted and emotionally empty - almost certainly!"

People argue that there is a bias in the family courts - that they favour mothers. I'm not sure that is true. They do, however, favour the, "resident" parent. In most cases that is the mother and, therefore, the balance of power seems to be held by mums.

Unfortunately, it doesn't take long before both parties recognise this fact. And when you find yourself up against an ex whose anger for you is stronger than her love for her children the very court system you expect to help you can become the tool used to deny you access. Unless, you can manage to keep going, to keep finding the money and to keep plodding on whilst they hold directions hearings in a vain attempt that either one of the parents will give up or someone, anyone (other than them), will make a decision.

This has been a difficult post to write, for the very reason I haven't known what to write. As you can probably tell by my rambling?

Anyway, I am hanging in there. I hope the tide is turning. My application for an enforcement of contact (which was issued almost 12 months ago) and which was due to be heard in February, but which was delayed due to the lies of my ex-wife in January, is now an application for residency.

I feel uneasy seeking to upheave the children from their mothers but, as a very clever person said to me,

"You are the better parent because you love them unconditionally,
Whereas your ex loves them conditionally."

Plus, of course, I would never seek to exclude their mother from their lives.

The balls back in play as we enter added time!

I've been meaning to write a follow up and a thank you post for sometime. Whilst it hasn't happened I really do appreciate all the comments and emails I have received - they really have helped me.

Anyway, I'm now back in court fighting to see my kids. The truth is, and whilst i've never really spoken about it on here, I've never really been out of court. There have been periods of respite, periods when I thought my ex-wife and I were getting on, however, the reality is that they were merely periods when my ex was waiting for another time to strike.

Spending anytime in the courts is a truly awful experience and a place I never thought I'd have to experience. However, it is in the courts that the lies spun by my ex will be tested and my right to see my kids will be lost or won. Unfortunately, after almost 4 years in court, and thousands thrown down the toilet, my faith in the courts is at it's lowest.

However, I'm not quite ready to don a superman outfit and climb the walls of the court just yet so the fight goes on.

Just because I'm losing, it doesn't mean that I've lost!

On the 13th January 2012 my ex-wife sent me a message,
It's a message that she's tried to send before,
but, previously, I have managed to ignore,
this time it was received loud and clear.

"You're not required any more,
for, you see, the children have a new father now,
therefore, you are no more,
and you can tell Grandma and Grandad,
that they can return to being,
just Mum and Dad"

"PS. Keep sending the maintenance cheques :)!"

Since that time I have cried,
and I've cried some more,
I've eaten chocolate,
and I've cried some more,
I've tried to work out why?,
what could have I done?,
what should I have done,
and I've even contemplated,
suicide.

But now,
as I stand ready to fight some more,
I'm a little bit scared,
for what's in store?
How many more lies will be told?
I don't know.

But, as I was wondering lost,
I found a poem,
and a song,
that helped me along!

Don't Quit


When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

Coldplay - Lost:

Battered and bruised but still here!

The past 13 weeks have been difficult. In fact the only thing that has got me through this awful time is, quite literally, my friends. In that statement I include YOU! Yes, YOU!

YOU really are wonderful. In fact, as I type this, just a little bit drunk, I think I LOVE YOU.

Thanks very much for being my friend.

Spencer.

It's been emotional!

Sometimes something happens that changes your life - occassionally that change can be for the better but it can also be for the worse.

I haven't been around these parts due to one of those life changing events. Unfortunately, it has been one of those bad events. This event has made anything that has happened to me previously pale into insignificance. It has made me reassess many things, made me distrust and has turned my life upside down.

I am hopeful that I'm through the worst but, equally, I fear this could just be the start.

I hope your year has started better.